¡Hola! Welcome to my fire tree. This is where I practically spend time squeezing my creative juices.
I write to empty my mind, to fill my heart.
As you read on, you'll surely unravel a lot of things about me. My walk, my under the moonlight musings, and out of the blue abstraction. Sometimes you could tell that it's my plain bizarreness that drives me to stay up in the wee hours of the morning to write.

But I need you to understand something - This blog is all about my love for writing; the actual craft. It has been both therapeutic and challenging. I write here not because I'm good at it. I write simply because I cannot not write.

Under the authority of a higher calling, I am compelled...to create, to wonder, to dream, to express.
Again, I write here for the love of writing. Be inspired. Be encouraged. This is where I'll spend time penning whilst watching falling stars at night!
Grace and Love,
K

Friday, April 6, 2012

I was BLIND but now I SEE! (Good Friday Reflection)

Intro:
This is an excerpt from my (real) journal where the truest thoughts of my heart lie. I am just so amazed by God’s love for me that I'm moved to share here. So this is me, sharing a piece of my heart. Be blessed! :-)

He replied,
"Whether he is a sinner or not, 
I don't know. One thing I do know. life,
I was blind but now I see!"
John 9:25
The life I live in the body, 
I live by faith in the Son of God, 
who loved me & gave Himself for me.
Galatians 2:20 

I am Katherine. I must confess that I am weak. At times, I can’t even control my thoughts & actions out of sin. With all these, I know I am hurting not just a lot of people; I am hurting my God. Despite this clear knowledge, I still opt to ignore. I let my prideful self win. Don't I deserve to be abandoned and punished? Gaaaahhh...I know I can’t live like this. Someone like me can’t represent Christ. 

But deep within my soul, a gentle voice tells me, 

"Katherine, daughter mine, I love you exactly for what you were, for what you are, and for what you will be."

I then ask,

"Why do You love me? Why do You keep on running back to me? I don’t understand! I am only going to fail You again. I don’t deserve You. Just leave me please. Just let me suffer.

What? What did You just say? 

My punishment was paid? My punishment was paid through Jesus’  death? Why? He doesn’t deserve it. I deserve it. Not Him. Why did He die for the punishment of my sins? I should be punished for them. This isn’t right. This isn’t fair. I am undeserving of this. 

What? I am freed of my punishment. All you want is for me to love You? Why? You know I am going to fail You. The one thing I can count on me doing is to fail You. Yet You still love me; Care for me; Run to me; over & over."


Yes, I am a sinner but you see, Jesus still loves me!  And He knows  all too well that that same love will change me.

I am a sinner still,  
but a sinner pardoned, reconciled, saved

And whatever dreadful things the enemy may tell me, Jesus says,  

"Thy sins are forgiven; go in peace" 
(Luke 7:50)

YES, I did live a worldly, selfish life BUT, all praise and glory to GOD, it is now otherwise with me.  I must confess within myself that I am unworthy and unclean, but I am washed in the blood of Christ. This overpowering faith brings me victory over my pasts, doubts and fears, and makes me enjoy the liberty wherewith Christ makes men free. Fully absolved by grace, all my sin's tremendous curse and blame were taken away. And even though the enemy will always make me believe otherwise, I can confidently say, 

"Christ LOVES ME and HE WILL PREVAIL!"

In the work of grace in my life, though I cannot tell exactly when, and how, and by what steps the blessed change was wrought, BY GRACE, whereas I was blind, now I see. 

Verily, my eyes are now open to the exceeding sinfulness of sin, the plague of my own heart, the insufficiency of my righteousness to justify myself before God, and the beauty, fullness, suitableness, and the mighty power of Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour .

Today, as I lovingly commemorate what my Saviour did for me, it is enough for me to say,
"I was a sinner, 
but now LOVE GOD; 
I was in darkness, 
but have now been brought to the 
light of truth.
I can’t doubt but that I am a poor sinner, 
and nothing at all, 
for I know that, 
and feel it every day. 
And why should I doubt that 
Jesus Christ is my all in all
for He says He is.”


Prayer:

I am humbled before You, Lord. I bow down before You. Your love is far beyond my understanding. I am so sorry for my iniquities, for hurting You countless times. Father, my flesh is too weak to carry through. Only by Your Spirit will I have the strength to admit that I am wrong, to repent, and to continue running this race.

Lord God, You always tell me to take heart because WE HAVE gone far from where You found me. But I cannot rest here. I can never be complacent. I earnestly pray that You will cloak my entire being with the strength of Christ so I can be what Jesus is in Your sight. 

Father, I thank You for gifting me the Holy Spirit who magnificently awakens my conscience. Hence, I can confidently say that Christ was and is for me all that I ought to have been, that He has suffered all my penalty; and now neither mercy nor justice can smite me, since justice has clasped hands with mercy in a firm decree to save me because my faith is in the cross of Christ. Thank You for everything, Father mine. I am at a loss for words every time I try to describe You. 

I just want to say, I LOVE YOU in the sweetest name I know, the name of Jesus, Amen.


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